Thursday, January 22, 2009


Again those newbies who barely know anything about common lisp yet they criticize it or make new *improved dialects*. I should avoid them, but I can't. I enjoy batting them. Anyway Raffael Cavallaro gave me a great laugh:
On 2009-01-21 22:01:41 -0500, Majorinc Kazimir said:
> Newlisp is designed to be simple
...minded? (**)
Raffael Cavallaro, Ph.D.

This an old compilation of rules how to become role model lisper:
1. Don't learn (*)lisp
2. Troll in comp.lang.lisp (check Gavino for examples)
3. Spam in comp.lang.lisp ( check our resident spammer for examples)
4. If you really decided to learn lisp. Learn some vapourware,
abandonware or marginalisedware lisp.
5. Don't do any search before you ask questions that were answered
for at least 100000000000000000 times before.
6. If any of the seasoned lispers get's mad because you asked a
question that was already answered for at least 100000000000000000
times before, start a blog whining about savages of comp.lang.lisp,
prefarably comparing it with eagle-scout community of you-name-it
7. If you really started learning common lisp, stop at day two and
whine all the way long in this newsgroup how ugly it is.
8. Continue with lecturing Kent Pittman, Guy L. Steele, and the rest
of the ANSI committee what they were thinking while designing common
lisp and show them the right way it should be done.BTW I've heard
rumours that they were drank all the way through standardisation
process, and rolled dice whenever there was a dispute what features
would get in the standard.
9. Never do any programming in lisp, just hang up in c.l.l all day
long and brag nonsense
10. If you're really must program in lisp, do it like with your
previous favorite language, compiling files through command line,
loading scripts etc. Those things worked great with c and php what
the hell they shouldn't do the same with lisp?
11. Don't listen to experienced lispers. What the hell do they know
what you don't after using lisp for 50 years?
12. Criticize authors of lisp books, especially those who made their
books available as free downloads.
13. Don't buy lisp books.
14. Whine about how all the free lisp implementations suck and commercial lisp are overpriced piece of shit.
15. Be abusive & unhelpful to newbies
16. Don't write lisp libraries.
17. Whine how lisp lacks libraries in your favorite area.
18. If libraries you need exists, whine how low quality are they.
19. Don't bother to send bug reports to library authors, if they were
smart enough they would figure it out themselves.
20. Even if library you need exists, with good quality and under
acceptable license ,don't use it . Start from scratch creating your
own masterpiece.

(*) Whenever I say lisp in this newsgroup I mean common lisp. For
other meaning I use lisp family of languages
(**) I was amuzed by Raffael timeless reply not by technical discussion, here's Kazimir reply for those who want to go into details.


  1. As addition to this post: Raffael Cavallaro from the beginning of this post and I tried to define same macro - generalized OR, each in his favorite language, Common Lisp and Newlisp respectively.

    The results - with my comment - can be seen at my blog post:

    Challenged by Common Lispers


  2. Sorry for not taking notice earlier, I've added your reply in my post plus explanation that Raffael sense of humor is what triggered me as I didn't payed much attention to the technical discussion.


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