Real lispers don't write programs , they write programs that write programs.
Real lispers don't solve their problems, they shape lisp into something that will solve their problems.
Real lispers know a lot of programming languages, they invent one in every program they write.
Real lispers use common lisp, scheme is for head-in-the-clouds academics, emacs is just a typo.It should be zmacs or climacs.
Real lispers don't write dialects of lisp, that's for failed wannabes that can not grok common lisp.
Real lispers don't need paren matcher, they haven't seen a single paren from the day they became masters.
Real lispers code in lisp machine, everything else is just Allegro prompt with some pretty colors.
Real lispers use MIT or BSD license, if you're good enough to use it, you can have it.
Real lispers make libraries, wannabe assemble hackbraries.
Real lispers code is like poem, wannabe code is just a bunch of typing, mispelled words and overuse of parens.
Real lispers documentation is like a novel, helpful and great read. Wannabe documentation is like an shabby phone book, filthy and outdated.
Real lispers don't need FFI, they rewrite the foreign part in lisp.
Real lispers don't use loop, loops is someones poorly written DSL that somehow slipped into the standard.
Real lispers don't use format, obfuscation contests are boring.
Real lispers might not know their wife name , but they know all the ANSI Common Lisp standard including the cleanup issues.
Real lispers snubs APIs, APIs are for tell-me-where-to-pour-the-concrete programmers.
Real lispers don't whine about lack of libraries, they write everything they need.
Real lispers introduce features, wannabes introduce bugs.
Real lispers code works across OSes and implementations, wannabe code is 99.99% finished for years.
Real lispers love lists.
Real lispers use very-long-and-descriptive-hyphenated-names.