Saturday, March 22, 2008

Real lispers

1
Real lispers don't write programs , they write programs that write programs.
2
Real lispers don't solve their problems, they shape lisp into something that will solve their problems.
3
Real lispers know a lot of programming languages, they invent one in every program they write.
4
Real lispers use common lisp, scheme is for head-in-the-clouds academics, emacs is just a typo.It should be zmacs or climacs.
5
Real lispers don't write dialects of lisp, that's for failed wannabes that can not grok common lisp.
6
Real lispers don't need paren matcher, they haven't seen a single paren from the day they became masters.
7
Real lispers code in lisp machine, everything else is just Allegro prompt with some pretty colors.
8
Real lispers use MIT or BSD license, if you're good enough to use it, you can have it.
9
Real lispers make libraries, wannabe assemble hackbraries.
10
Real lispers code is like poem, wannabe code is just a bunch of typing, mispelled words and overuse of parens.
11
Real lispers documentation is like a novel, helpful and great read. Wannabe documentation is like an shabby phone book, filthy and outdated.
12
Real lispers don't need FFI, they rewrite the foreign part in lisp.
13
Real lispers don't use loop, loops is someones poorly written DSL that somehow slipped into the standard.
14
Real lispers don't use format, obfuscation contests are boring.
15
Real lispers might not know their wife name , but they know all the ANSI Common Lisp standard including the cleanup issues.
16
Real lispers snubs APIs, APIs are for tell-me-where-to-pour-the-concrete programmers.
17
Real lispers don't whine about lack of libraries, they write everything they need.
18
Real lispers introduce features, wannabes introduce bugs.
19
Real lispers code works across OSes and implementations, wannabe code is 99.99% finished for years.
20
Real lispers love lists.
21
Real lispers use very-long-and-descriptive-hyphenated-names.

6 comments:

  1. LOOP is a very useful macro. If you haven't seen the light, I feel for you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Real lispers don't write programs, they write blogs.
    Real lispers don't solve problems, they argue that lisp solved them in the 60s.
    Real lispers code is as flowery and inane as their prose.

    ReplyDelete
  3. P.S. Sorry to everybody for moderation of comments, I'm usually against any kind of moderation unless it's total spam.

    Sohail
    Useful yes, but ugly as sin.

    Anonymous
    1. Nope wannabes do that
    2. No smug lisp weenies do that
    3. Definately no.

    machinehuman
    Thanks added as No.20

    ReplyDelete
  4. "Real lispers don't need paren matcher, they haven't seen a single parent from the day they became masters."

    Real lispers *DO* rely on spell checkers more than they should. Maybe they should spend more time with at least one of their parents :P

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hello,

    Having learned scheme from college, and having programmed mostly in C++ and ruby since then, I am becoming interested in the scheme/lisp world again.

    Scheme is obviously the better and cleaner language, with proper continuations, hygenic macros, and no artificial function/variable name dichotomy (no ugly pound-sharps).

    But scheme is totally balkanized and hence useless, unless one chooses a specific implementation like plt-scheme, which is like choosing a strait-jacket. Scheme is appropriate as a bare-bones embedded language and for teaching purposes, but not for much else.

    What frustrates me is that there isn't there an ANSI Common Scheme standard which matches the functionality of Common Lisp. I am forced to set aside my aesthetic sensibilities, resigning myself to CL for practical reasons.

    But why can't I have both? Why is there no Common Scheme? I don't get it.

    ReplyDelete

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